Thérèse Neelands

May 9th, 10th, 2009

– Hope/Optimism – optimism = logistical – something good will come out of it – Knowledge – not often optimistic, but to be hopeful gives the opportunity for optimism.

I found the above scrawled in my journal yesterday. I remember Steph and I were at that author thing at Hart House in the spring – there was some discussion – doctors without borders, or something. But that thought stuck with me.

I’ve just finished The Origin of Species (Nino Ricci).  I’m trying to compare it with all the other books I’ve read in my short life. I’m trying hard not to say it’s the best book I’ve ever read, a thing not to say lightly, and often said without real evaluation, like waking up with a heavy hangover and saying to yourself you’ll never drink again. (except for Steph).

*Nicole Collins, my process and materials instructor at OCAD, a person who will always stick in my memory, said that before she starts painting she feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility. The painting had to be great, it had to be about “Life, The Universe, and Everything”, and nothing short of it. I’ve understood this completely, it’s probably the reason why I don’t paint a lot – but Nicole did these paintings, and they were about Life, The Universe and Everything, and when you looked at them, and heard her speak about them, it was like entering through a door where you didn’t know what was behind it, but that was what made it so exciting – to feel like what was at your fingertips was everything, but that you couldn’t explain it, all the mysteries of the world that you could only experience through feeling. The feeling that all that knowledge was in front of you, all the answers, all the questions, too much to put your finger on.

The Origin of Species was like that for me. But it was also like it contained everything I wanted it to, everything I’m thinking about, everything I’m experiencing, and everything I want to know more about. I read paragraphs over and over again, (I’m sure I would have finished the book in a day and a half, otherwise) just to make sure I had uncovered every layer of thought in them, the thought of the protagonist (Alex) and my own thought.

It is the universality of the book, the truthful, honest way in which it speaks of what it is to be human – animal – on this earth – that makes it about Life, The Universe and Everything – and is what makes it such a strong novel – as Ricci says (about what a good novel does) – “…they speak to our most basic motivations and drives, giving a shape to them that no straightforward analysis or description could ever quite capture.” And the GGs jury cites about the book “…this story reads as if it has come up through our collective memory.” – and that is what I mean as well.

When I read the last sentence, I let out a breath, not wanting to believe it was over – and tried to satisfy myself by reading the acknowledgments and the colophon, and then the 4 blank pages afterwards.

Of course I’ll read his other books prior to this one, but I know they won’t trump this one. They won’t feed me the way this one did. And I know that I’ll have to write to him, of course. And I’ll paint today – and try not to let the burden of “Life, The Universe and Everything” get to me.

*see, in particular, at nicolecollins.com/writing/statements/May 2006

Cappucino by Ella's Uncle, where the proprietress bakes delicious things right in front of you, and makes delicious designs on the surface of your cup of joe. Book by new fav. author Nino Ricci

Yesterday morning I woke up early in preparation. To plan my day for The Word on the Street Festival, I pour over the schedule on their website. Steph calls me at 10:00AM to advise on what not to miss etc. Margaret Atwood at 3:00. Nino Ricci at 1:30, Anthony De Sa, and so on. ) I rely on Steph for book advice. You can ask her about any random author, and without missing a beat, she’ll tell you every book he’s written, where you can get it on sale, and any random minutiae about his life).

Barnacle Love, Anthony De Sa

I caught Anthony De Sa at 12:15 (winner 2009 Giller for Barnacle Love) and totally fell in love. (he wears Blundstones and swears by his Mac). I haven’t read Barnacle Love yet, but when it first came out, immediately wanted to covet it because of the gorgeous cover. (I can totally judge a book by its cover, by the way). Definitely my next read.

The Origin of Species, Nino Ricci

I heard Nino Ricci read from his latest book The Origin of Species (Govener General Literary Awards) for the second time. I first heard him when Steph and I went to this Literary Author Reading Book Bonanza at Hart House last spring. Ricci is smart. And has big black eyebrows that frame his face, which I also like. Hearing him speak, I knew his book would be a good influence for my painting, and I picked up a beautiful copy on my way home at a second hand book store (She Said Boom, on College St.) for $10.00. I am now half way through and can’t stop. I even woke up at 6:30AM on my day off and tucked myself in for a good few hours of reading while the wind and the rain howled outside. Mmmm. (Along with peppermint ginger tea, I’m getting a cold).

Margaret Atwood was brilliant, as usual. Sprightly, energetic, hilarious, impish, and ridiculous in her giant, red sketchers. Elenor Wachtel from CBCs Writer’s In Company was the host, and the whole thing went cross-Canada with Halifax and Vancouver connected on screens flanking the stage. She read a short excerpt from her latest novel The Year In The Flood (not a sequel or prequel to Oryx and Crake, but a simultaneous one, experienced from a girl’s perspective, as opposed to Jimmy’s.) I must admit, I got a little bit emotional when she trotted on stage – her dedication to a writing life, the arts, and politics makes me overwhelmed with gratitude. Atwood has been, for many, many years, my most favourite author and person.

The View From Out Here was a panel discussion between Dionne Brand, Camilla Gibb, Nino Ricci (sigh!) and Jane Urquhart. Urquhart was totally on fire and kept interrupting everyone, but since what she had to say was pretty intelligent, I didn’t mind, although Ricci looked a little irked at one point.

I arrived home pretty exhausted and overwhelmed and inspired. And also a little delirious from not having eaten all day.

Work in Progress

Above is a work in progress, an experiment. I’m sketching some things, sticking them under my projector, blowing things up, scaling things down, and sort of collaging as I go along. I like the process which is freeing in that I never know what’s going to happen next, but restrictive in that I’m staying within specific perimeters which gives me a lot less to worry about.

P.S. Seems I can’t create a link in a caption for an image, so check out Ella’s Uncle on Dundas St.